Tuesday, August 02, 2011

A Desktop Affair

In the human life of 60 years, well almost, there comes a time when he has to believe what he sees. Perhaps, what he is seeing is too enigmatic to apprehend but he cannot complain; life has to throw lemons at him according to the rules and going by the SMS he has to ask for Vodka. It is a metaphor by the way but can’t help if you have already started drooling. What if he flunk to firmly grasp the opportunity? His chance to win free Vodka will be spilled on the floor. He will see someone else relishing itthe exotic mocktail now. He gets irked more because GoI had hiked the price of all alcoholic beverages by 15-20%. This is life, sedate but full of camouflage dwelled marvelously with euphemism. It is trivial to resist the impetus; it just burns him from inside.

Life taught me a new lesson. Methodology adopted was next to bizarre. Life dwells in every single thing, literally. I was about to type down my views on the current Indian scenario on my MS Word when it refused to accept the word Suresh Kalmadi, vague of the cause I tried to write it down again but a warning message in display frown me. Any further attempt will lead to corruption in Windows. I rubbed my eyes until I was sure what I am reading is what I am really reading or what I am reading is not what I am really reading but really is. So, MS Word is Kalmadi repellent now, more like Mortein. I expected life to throw something tangy to me. *Sigh* Thinking of the dementia eased my head. Perhaps, Word is afraid of dementia. It can be communicable sometimes, no? I left the word Kalmadi and began with a new post, afresh, with a sole purpose to mock A. Raja and wow his astutely earned few lakh crores. Another warning flashed breaking me into sweat. Word refused to take A. Raja as a word too. What the hell is wrong with MS Word? Reinstalling MS Word too didn’t helped. My desktop has been infected by them and their likes. 

Connecting to internet and reading the HT and ToI columns was paying now, anyhow. It was not just MS Word, the bloody desktop was seized under their zeros. I was still oblivious of such macabre behavior displayed by my Desktop. Scams were bothering it? Then I thought to do a report writing for my college on Metallurgy. Still it discarded every word. B.S Yeddyurappa’s little mine maneuver was making my reports delay. It had to be submitted and this time I sincerely wanted to do a report on my own. But, alas! This time too I have to run a Ctrl-A + Ctrl-C + Ctrl-V mechanism in a row. Out of sheer irritation I planned to do a fake news on 2018 Commonwealth Games. "How Kalmadi looted another country’s on the name of "Common Wealth". But I think desktop didn’t appreciate the idea much. Result: Warning to send report to Microsoft. The copy of Windows you are using is fake types. Advanced version of Lokpal bill; Pokepal too didn’t sound phunny to my desktop. I was doomed now. How will I serve my fetish to laugh on some significant people? Desktop’s astuteness was much beyond what I had ever imagined. It even knew about the famous appetizer by Lalu Prasad Yadav [Chaara Ghotala].

When this insignificant electronically driven gadget was playing tantrum-tantrum with me, I never realized it was the life, endeavoring to teach me a lesson Life dwells in every single thing. I was too flustered with the virtue that desktop recently developed and desktop was relishing my contemptuous solitude, scourging me with impetuous, deliberately.

| Read more here: Scheming Crafty Aggressive Malicious

Now out of blues if you wonder how did I manage to type and post this, the wrath of the desktop was too strong. Well, I borrowed a laptop. Luckily, all of them are not infected.


  1. lol...we, the corrupted lot...all the best with your desktop and pirated windows :)

  2. quite a tragedy..i doubt u were NOT prepared for it though! and life dwells in every single thing...even virus and bacterias have life..nai?:P

    and thnks for letting us knw the 'importance' of lappies..great read!


  3. hahahaahh...this is called the KALMADI effect!!
    India is definitely corrupted that too to such an extent that even our machines are showing the true skin!
    awesome read!

  4. You and your desktop have an unusual relationship. Perhaps it's trying to tell you something.

  5. MS Word might not accept Kalmadi and A Raja but MS - Manmohan Singh did.And look what MS unleashed on poor janta...Shameless creatures showing victory sign when they should not show their faces.

  6. Hah why is there a picture of a Mac? and does MS Office run on Mac? :O
    Also you should pay heed to MS Word's warnings and leave out topics such as A. Raja and Kalmadi.

  7. Hahah..wonderful post. First time here, certainly not the last. :)

  8. SUB Watch out. Internet is a medium and the disease is communicable. :P

    Sarah You know better than me Doc! :D

    Purba Ma'am "An uncanny bond" was the name of this post which I later changed. THIS is uncanny.

  9. Alka Ma'am Ahan! Ahan!

    Sammy Yes, there is office for mac. But what about metallurgy?

    Phatichar Thanks. Would love to see you around.

  10. phewwww lucky you .. to have managed to borrow else we would have missed on this hilarious post ..

    I guess MS will have to create a few updates and send them to u so you can get rid of this bug .. but jsut a few names you mentioned I am sure lots of names can be entered .. :)

    MS is writing a new operating system and are going to name it KASAB.. the reason being it will never HANG ..

    hopefully then all these names will be shortcuts :)


  11. I strongly suggest you to switch to Linux. :P MS sucks. That was quite hilarious BTW. :)

  12. :) hehehehheehe!! I did not dwell much in to Kalmadi, Raja episode but this was indeed fun to read...

  13. corruption taking its toll even on windows :P

    weakest LINK

  14. " corruption in windows"?????
    hehehe.... its height of personification... lol

  15. presented a very delicate topic in a humorous way, thnk god dey were caught bt still a lot to be done, corruption is spearding like plague n even faster...daymm i drifted... nice post dude

  16. You are funny!! Even technology imitates life!

  17. haha loved the sarcasm in your post... indeed it is funny but a very serious things are expressed here.

  18. Try Apple. According to fanboys, they are incorruptible.


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