Neighbor Stands Tall

Don't worry, we are here.

So you think world is weird place and cannot get weirder? Is that so? Hah! You are absolutely, wrong. See the world with an angle that is not defined on a protractor and you’ll see China (Sarcasm exclusive). World’s most populated country but not densely populated; China is like Rakhi Sawant. Whenever China feels it’ is out of news, it manages to give the world something intriguing to ponder upon. China reminds me of the time when the concept of dating was not appreciated. Someone who was found practicing blatant dating game had to face the furor. For weeks, the agitated mother watches her daughter with narrow eyes; no-no even narrower than their actual gifted narrowness (See the picture above | No racism intended.).

From early 2000, China is invariably famous for its Made in China tags carved beautifully at the bottom or back of any product but now things have changed. With a GDP of 9.5% now China has also gained much of reorganization. New trades have shown up, new job opportunities are waiting for young Chinese to grasp upon. Boyfriends and girlfriend’s seasonal trade is the latest trend in China these days. They just have to pay a small amount to change their relationship status on Facebook from being Single to In a Relationship, and of course to make their parents happy. Pay more get more real relation, that’s the deal.

“Nothing can sustain in this universe without equilibrium” – China knew it, and soon acted upon it. Can’t say it’s over? Let us help you” The isolated internet sphere of China is nowadays seizing with the ads and agents who prejudice themselves as The Breakup Expert. Killing the love has always been the cruelest act. No one wants to be in the middle of river of tears flowing through the mountains of guilt. Now when I see it, agents appear to me as noble soles souls; born to emancipate. Carrying their karma to find a place in heaven and who knows they might get rewarded with 72 virgins just like Osama-bin-Laden. With a price of 400 Yuan for an hour to break the bitter news these agents are hit these days. Had this idea been boon in India, a chain of people would have registered themselves as the agents and more rapidly institutes like FIITJEE would be offering a 2 week condense course in this field with a fee of ` 20,000 per week. Fee would include—tuition fee, book fee and examination fee. If FIITJEE is doing it then how can Brilliant, Narayana and Pie leave themselves behind?

Gender Blender

Ghulam Nabi Azad. What a gutsy man, no? After Supreme Court rendered its final judgment Ghulam Nabi Azad became sentimental. Damning the Act 377 aside he delivered his own dyslectic point. Ghulam Nabi Azad; I know most of you might have not ever heard his name before this. No, no nothing to be ashamed of, it is natural not to remember any cabinet minister except quite a few.

Something which happens often is called a miracle and Ghulam Nabi sahab made it happen. His comment on homosexuality created an echoing unanimous opinion. India got united, once again after Baba Ramdev, miracle.

Image Courtney- Satish Acharya  

We definitely cannot blame Nabi sahab for calling homosexuality a disease. Why? Silly; it is because every human cannot comprehend everything, easily. Instead of blatantly ranting our honorable health minister, people should have deciphered “other” vague possibilities hyperlink to his statement. After brilliantly linking MSM (Man having sex with man) to HIV/AIDS awareness a plethora of profuse outrage of opinions on social networking soon after the comment was seen. Considering Nabi sahab’s opinion on homosexuality as an unnatural disease I am freighted the most. Another statement from health minister issuing the symptoms of homosexuality is my concern. Is it communicable viral disease which spreads by touching like most of the people think like AIDS spreads?

Medical fact—a disease never shows up immediately. It follows symptoms.

I believe Ghulam sahab is busy in creating symptoms.

Baba Ramdev with his unparallel experience also called it a yoga curable disease. 

I always wonder; do they deliberately make such a statement? Ask me, I’ll say yes. Humans are always credited as attention seekers and as far my knowledge goes “they” are humans. This is the best phase to yell out such opinionated statements since their pinning voice won’t be heard in future. No it’s not apocalypse but the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows – Part 2 and Twilight – Breaking Dawn are set to make cover page headlines for months.

They cannot enroll for Roadies and Splitsvilla, not because their morale doesn’t allow but the show requirement is beyond their reach. Hence idea dropped. Their vast knowledge is incomparable hence they cannot even take part in any quiz contest. Their modesty holds them back from displaying their sheer knowledge. Their plan to appear on television and motivate people to adopt straightness in life will come to a halt if hence being someone who could efficiently on camera is the reason what they are today to spread their message to the world of tomorrow.

Now tell me, is such an outrage justified? SMS your opinions with "Yes", "Of course" or "Hell yes" to India TV

The Great Comedy in Indian Shows

India television has been marked with eras. People go along the flow, entertainment is the basic entity. It doesn’t matter what kind of entertaining is being piled. Since I am a child of 90’s, the decade where India finally met and wed the globalization. A decade when Chetan Bhaghat was just an engineering aspirant, a decade which was marked with the release of the movie Border, a decade in which neither Uday Chopra nor Abhishek Bachchan thought to debut as a newcomer. As the time progressed TV shows categorized themselves—

Era of एकता में अनेकता 

Ever since I gained my cautious for the television, one, and the only name making headlines was Ekta Kapoor. Her reel dramas soon turned into real dramas. Time was not far when Indian husbands got severely retarded with the buckets sitting along the sofas to catch their wife’s precious tears. Mihir made a benchmark and Tulsi was making a perfect brain wash. Wives calling husband as “Mihir” created a perfect name jeopardy. “Suspecting husband” aka The Fa Deodrant effect also made  its place in the household works. Along with it brought handful amount of daily soaps which constraint housewives from cleaning entire house to only sofa and television set.

She (एकता कपूर, Sister/of तुषार कपूर, Daughter/of जितेंदर) ruled the world of drama for a long reign and finally her episodes started dying and eventually died (Law of Nature – Something which is born is ought to die). Women showed their great dismal, husbands now were getting breakfast and dinner on time, sons and daughter’s school visits were no longer procrastinated. Everything came back to normal (Women shares a different perspective).

Diagnose Holi

Picture Courtesy- Google

“Holi is the festival of colours.” We all have been taught this phase ever since we were little lollipop sucking cuties but as the time passed by this festival of colour also changed its meaning in Delhi. Now not much people show their inclination towards this festival much here, fortunately I too contribute in the majority. I don’t like getting out of my house. Yes, you heard it so correct – I restrain myself into my room. But this doesn’t mean I don’t like this joyful festival. I like it as much as people in Mathura do but the meaning behind this festive mood in Delhi has got a new face all together over past couple of years.


With the change of ode in understanding, a peculiar trend of celebrating Holi was born and is nourishing now at its full swing; I call it “Tacky Holi”. Celebrating Holi in some parts of Delhi baffles me. People either out of their sheer boring life or no-wife life makes this festival a festival of cries.
If you’re wondering what the heck, am I trying to testify or how does this anyhow relates my No-No for holi then let me enlighten you—


I have been closely tracking Holi from past two years; each year manifests my belief into a rigid concrete surface. Recently, Holi news that is making a stir is “Man threw Acid on Girl from his Pichkari”. Such headlines make me wonder, what the girl did. She was just walking by. People over-drink and pick up fights against any random pedestrian. This turns ugly when both of them abuse at the pinnacle of their heavy-broken-machine-alike-voices. It does not feels nice when family is near and loud abuses you have to bear, neither I can enjoy the street drama nor can I curse them. Eventually police embarks and cuts the roadside entertainment but this entertainment also leaves a question behind, what if you were a part of this street drama. Holi gives liability to touch and throw colours and balloons and this makes worse for girls. Street and sexual harassment are off the charts on this day of year.

Is That Eve-Teasing?

From my hazy memory I could sum up, it was the starting of 3rd semester when I with one of my friend went to Nai Sadak to buy some of our course books. Those who don’t know, Nai Sadak is well known and famous place in Delhi, you can find all course books over there. While returning back to Chandni Chowk Metro Station we took a short cut. The short cut was quite remote which we realized later.


We took a right turn and 5-6 meters ahead of us was walking a girl, constantly being followed by 2 local boys who were passing lewd remarks on her and were relishing it. Unaware of us they were time to time making their comment steep on the chart of lewdness. She was holding a poly-bag in her right hand and a bag was on her shoulder, seems she too was there to shop for books.


While walking by something shot into my solitude. "This is eve-teasing, right?" I questioned myself. I've read about it but never faced any situation quite like this. "How should I stop it?" was the next question. I told it to my friend, he too was concern. We cannot fight them like this. We needed to figure out something diplomatic urgently. And that was the time when an idea struck into my mind. We hurriedly went to the girl passing by the boys and started walking by her sides. At first she didn’t notice, perhaps because she was busy in figuring out how to get out of the mess she was in. Soon she noticed the halt in lewd remarks and two fellows walking along her sides and joking on their school life. The boys following her were still following us. I think it was instincts more than understanding that the girl realized, we were there just to help.


I passed a smile to her and she returned it back. Within no time we reached Metro Station. Not saying much she thanked us for our help. We parted our ways. She went off to catch a bus while I along with my friend took the Metro.


This was the first time I ever took such a step and perhaps the first time I ever saw eve-teasing and dared to intervene before it could turn ugly.

India is a country of Freedom but Freedom is at times taken in a sense of “Free-To-Do-Anything”.

This post was first published on "Stop Street Harassment" — 
Non confrontational intervention to stop eve-teasing in Delhi 

Eat, Play and Sleep

I'll kill you, and so will I

Out of every damn thing created by God MAN is the only specie which has been bestowed with this peculiar trait called “Eating”, “Eating” and once again “Eating”. Of course women are also unique but their peculiarities are way much bizarre than men. Eh? I am being sexist. No, it's a sheer fact.

Alright! Coming back to the men. Eating has always been our favorite hobby or even a pass time. Men eat because they are born to eat, it's their birth right. So what is the problem if they're practicing it?
So here I am to answer a few questions (call it FAQs) which often create an ape image of the men—

Q: Why do Men eat weirdly?
A: Simply because they have much more hunger as compared to their counterparts.

Q: Why are men less emotional in comparison to their counterparts?
A: Men are emotional, it is just that men’s tear glands have yet not evolved like that of women’s. Therefore they are incapable of producing drum-full of tears.

Q: If a man has to choose between his Girlfriend and Mc.Aaloo Tikki costing Rs.15, can we rely that he'll be choosing his girlfriend?
A: Are you nuts? Hell NO! Don't you see we live to eat rather than eating to live.Rs.15 Mc. Aaloo Tikki any day!!!. Mc.Aaloo Tikki costs above Rs.20 exclusive of 12.5% VAT. We cannot leave any eatable item which is provided below MRP.

How Dare You!?! You Racist

This incident dictated is written deliberately and is meant to hurt the mindsets of people who think they have evolved with the world, evolved!?! Really?

"
It was late afternoon at one fine boring day at college. The class was appearing much like a center of boredom, people were busy in killing the boredom, some were busy in dreaming, some were staring at the chalk box with open mouth, some preferred to slip into a noon nap, the rest left were busy in playing Poker. Poker is one game for which half of my class goes sane from insane. Given a chance they could probably bid their own house. Their Walls on Facebook is a living evident that how badly they have been smitten by this P game; lucky me, I am miles away from such pseudo madness. The game was going intense; I would have never known the intensity of the game if Anubhav haven’t murmured it in his mouth.

The long reign of Abhishek as the King of Poker was coming to a halt. Utkarsh was taking a lead and from the facial expression Abhishek didn’t like it. He lost, yes the champion was beaten and a new hero of Poker was born in the class, of course not literally born. Abhishek couldn’t digest the fact so he called another game to claim his title once again with a lewd remark at Utkarsh. Lewd remark!?! Yes, the remark was indeed lewd and it chuckle the great Poker players. The comment passed wasn’t ordinary, it was meant to hurt and was directed to penetrate deep inside Utkarsh’s heart, so it did. The comment was Racist. Utkarsh’s colour was the thing which Abhishek loathed.

Do you even know about this sport

18th October, the unused special CWG off finally came to an end. A new excitement filled me up soon as I entered in my classroom. Like a usual morning a topic was jumping among the nerds and the studs—CWG. India’s 0-8 loss against the Australia. Man this was something not expected, they raped us brutally – A fellow nerd standing by my side dropped his point into the discussion with a calculated angle and force to make an impact. He was supported by a stud (not me). Soon the topic caught fire and a process of hailing ignited. Momentarily I took myself into my solitude space of thoughts and discovered that the impression by them (studs and nerds) was totally reflecting their own frustration hidden beneath their hockey condemns. I couldn’t stand with this inappropriate discussion and tried to make them realize that instead of loosing Gold, cherish the Silver. Those who could decipher my words brought their trivial allegations to a halt. Unfortunately everyone is not endowed with common sense. Those who weren’t were still nowhere to retreat their words, frenetically defending their feeble innocuous statements against me. I questioned myself ‘was I even more complex than Inception and Digital Fortress or their I.Q is in the negative side according to the I.Q measuring machine (though impossible but I was amidst so many Paris Hilton or Rakhi Sawant)?’

Rohit suddenly burst his theory – Dude, they lost 8 to nil in their own country. “How many football matches you’ve won on your terrace against me. I remember 3 out of 17”, I said sarcastically (thanks to my witty mind). Rohit on his humiliation left the class with disgust.

Now it was my turn – I questioned them. Who was Dhyanchand? The one who dared to answer called him a social reformer who worked with Raja Ram Mohan Roy (name defines only 1 person, not 4) to abolish child marriage. I was totally flattered with his limitless knowledge and called him the Class Guru, to my surprise he was Ankush, studs lifted him up and gave me a boo expression. Showing their triumph over me. Soon after he puffed his chest with pride I sarcastically remarked him a Jerk in a colony of morons. He understood he was wrong (thank God!). Quickly after an internet search for the word Dhyanchand, exactly after 5 seconds he thwacked the ground and left the class with a contemptuous expression. I smiled at him to take his frenzy up to the limit.

Pritam was in front of me and yet again I got my subject to blow. I asked him the name of tours and cups/trophies which hockey has. Not surprisingly he was seeing my face, dumb (I wonder why didn't he answerd Netwest Series or Border-Gavaskar Cup. Hence proved Nerd = Dumb). He was dejected and left like two before. I copied my previous smile and flashed it to the dejected nerd dumb.

I questioned Himanshu (not a stud, neither a nerd, not even useless) to name of 5 hockey players playing India vs. Australia. After mulling for a while and witnessing the sarcasm peak, he deliberately answered Rajpal Singh, Sardar Singh, Chetr…….. I purposely cut him in between (yeah, I'm devilish) and flipped the question to "how many teams play hockey, don’t count those who played at Commonwealth Games 2010?". Baffled, smitten within his own incomplete knowledge. Like others he too left with fireballs in his eyes and I too reciprocated my act of smile, leaving no stone unturned.

The bitter truth is that Indian sports were never being emphasized. It was never a subject of interest for the government. Facilitating the sportsperson is not even the last thing that government could think of. I wonder how’d present medal tally for CWG 2010 appear if they were being properly provided with all what  they need. Everyone cannot be Abhinav Bindra who can build their own personal practice grounds. (Duh!!)

I reprieved and my sarcasm spree came to a halt after I convincingly introduced their prejudice to the reality. Like I said my day was channelized with new excitement and now a sense of winning an argument also filled me up. Ah! accomplishment was notched. Soon my lecture for Numerical Analysis and Programming (boring…) begun and everything settled down like it use to be but I still cherish morning of 18th October after all it was my day.