.....Yours Truly

 “This letter is strictly written to address the general public. Also it gives me; Digvijay Singh, an immense pleasure to announce that “The Unwise Prevails over the Wise” has completed its year long journey in Blogosphere and on such an occasion what is better than to publish my letter to Indian youth?”

I have been wondering for years to write such a letter and unravel what Digvijay actually is. And today, here I am collecting my anecdotes and aligning them in this letter as we speak. I was born in the year 1947 and the truth of Indian independence lies within me. I was declared as the destined child by Panditji from Shiv Mandir near my Mausiji’s house; that would bring an ode of emancipation with him for his motherland. That very year India tasted its long awaited freedom; my virtue has never been credited since then. History also testifies; life of a hero has always been synonym to miseries and darkness; mine was no different. I was sent to an engineering college……eyes of sympathy still haunt me. I was always looked down upon by the people for years probably because I was Sheldon Cooper of my era. I must bring up some of my handy work I did in my early days. When I was 7, my neighbor aunt caught me stalking her daughter; when I was 10, a bunch of lad pondered me because I refuse to give them the money I lost in a bet; at the age of 15, I was on the pinnacle of my puberty and my parents caught me ………….*Fap Fap Fap*; at the age of 20, teacher caught me with chits while writing exam. I grew up without a Play Stations or iPhone or watching Harry Potter Series or riding Pulsar; enough to give you a rough sketch of my demean childhood. Every piece of my miseries fell into the right void as predicted by Daruwalaji, precisely this is the reason why lately I like being called as Diggy; name change policy, you see!

I was sad, low and heading without the compass of life. I remember the verses I quoted during this phase—

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

You’re playing small

Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,

As children do.

We were born to make manifest

The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

—     Marianne Williamson Digvijay Singh

My vision provoked the poet out of me and under no consciousness I wrote such a masterpiece. Vision was equipped to change my life forever; it was the day when I joined the most elite politico group of India; Congress. I had to accomplish something for myself. Bas ek aag thi jo tan badan main  failti chali gayi. I was young, naive and my youth kept pushing me to strive for success. But now I am focus and motor mouth service man with a will to put India on world map, in a slightly different manner, unlike F1 racing or A Raja. Politics is a game of dirt; I was accused of being corrupt, endlessly and invariably. I am the chosen one and I can never have words such a corrupt in my career file; it has always been and will always be a conspiracy by Anti-Digvijay group, Hindu groups, BJP or RSS. The possibility of involvement of Extra Terrestrials cannot be ruled out as well.

Baseless charges on me: Ridiculously ridicule accusations

Now when the congress is strong enough, capable to single handedly trend anything on twitter; it is not unnatural that Anti-Congress (Team Anna) will not take birth. It’s a balance without which universe will shred into pieces. Over the time they nourished and tried to shake the concrete of ruling party. After me they proceeded as their play was laid; Manmohanji, Soniaji and Rahulji by Kajrawaala err… I mean Kejriwal. I respect Annaji “only” from the bottom of my heart. I hold no personal grudge against him but I sincerely believe if he wants to bring “A Good Government” into power, instead of his chaotic campaign he should fight an election without the invisible support of RSS or ET’s. 

So, in my final words I would like to wish you all a very happy life ahead. My you always hoot and vote for Congress. Jai Hind!

Dhanyawaad

— Digvijay Singh

Post was also published at thewittyshit(dot)com and can be read here.

Metro-ian Dissection

Have you heard about Metro, Delhi Metro? Metro is one such project that brought grandeur to the name “Delhi Metro Rail Corporation”. Now when it’s a huge success unlike Ready, it brought people closer than they actually are. Now I can land anywhere uninvited, thanks to Metro. Ease had to be compromise; enough facility doesn't sound India, right? A short run is tolerable and can be easily disremembered. Unfortunately I always get rope in an alone voyage which starts giving me melancholics’ soon as I realize the above stated fact.

Are you in this picture? Yes. Congrats, you're famous now.

Invariably irking announcement on metro stations takes my toes off the ground (Even higher than Red Bulls). The blatant announcement turns into a melodious silence when loud speakers goes malfunction. Stentorian musical tones from headphones—some highly intellectual beings have successfully de-bunked new alternatives to make their co-passengers listen Sheela Ki Jawani. Blaring isn't from no-guarantee Chinese cell phone’s extra large speaker, this time it is, maximum volume flaring out from their 3.5mm jack earphones. Suave office goers are the most admired among all. They are calm and fully humanized with a sense of idiosyncrasy. Imbeciles—naam he kaafi hai. Talkative aunties are often discovered amidst congregation of too much talkative aunties. They spare their husband and whirl someone else’s pati parameshwar. Even their Facebook profile lists it as an interest and hobby. Ranting, raving a man without his attention is not an act of bravery, but they are talkative aunties after all, aren’t they?

Retro-Day in the Life of Engineer Prateek

| This guest post is written by Anita Menon who blogs at Slice of My Life. A heartfelt thank to her for such an "amazing" post.  

Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction with resemblance to only one living person who is none other than Mr. Prateek Bagri. He invited me to do a guest post for his blog and wanted it to be funny/interesting. This is what I have got! I have used some twitter-related parlance such as tweets and mentions.

Guest Post- Retro-Day in the Life of Engineer Prateek

It was a typical summer day at the “Some Institute of Engineering and Technology” but the campus was exceptionally silent. The leaves rustled across the dust beaten cemented compound of the institute. The heat seemed to sizzle the institute's building and the peon checked his watch again. There was still an hour to go before he could ring the bell and announce the end of the examination. Through one of the windows, he noticed a student glance into his classmate’s answer sheet. He shook his head in repugnance. He had seen this year after year, the faces changed but the habits remained unchanged. Suddenly he heard shuffling of feet on the corridor and turned to look. He didn't expect any student to come out of the examination hall so early. He recognized the familiar face immediately. Thats the Bagri boy!! 

Prateek looked from his cell phone and found the peon staring at him. He just shrugged and started to climbed down the institute’s steps with his eyes still glued to his Sony Ericsson W705. He chuckled to himself while he scrolled down his twitter timeline. People can be unbelievably hilarious, he thought to himself. He tweeted,”Exam over. What a relief!" A second later,  ' Ping', he looked to check and found a mention 

Interview: Osama Unplugged

Image courtesy- The Times of India 

With the assassination of world’s #1 most wanted terrorist, Osama Bin Laden; America is living in peace. Whining and winning go hand in hand, (let us say “Clinton—Bush” – “Obama.”) The only place which went with an atmosphere of non-celebration was journalist’s headquarters’ building. With a “dream” of interviewing Osama once in life died with Osama for them. They were left so much dishearten that channels had almost started showing the actual news. Then came a "boy" out of nowhere who posted Osama's interview on his blog; unreal, right!?!

"

He was sitting by the clouds when a care taker called Osama to attend a call from Earth for a special interview. Obama Osama went flabbergasted. Not expecting a fame call can make you go dumb, so got Osama. “Who are you? Human or Jihadi”, asked Osama. “Sir, I am a blogger who wants to interview you and make some money out of it” was his lame reply.

Open Letter to a Classmate

Dear classmate,


How are you? I hope you are “doing” fine. I am writing this letter to convey my sincere regards to you. I find these days of summers as the most promising time to pen my mind down to you perhaps because it will satisfy my itch to thank you for everything. It gives me immense pleasure to write to you. Please bear with me.

You can make me go to sleep, anytime!

It has been a long time, precisely few months less in a couple of year that I’m watching your face everyday just for the sake of attendance. It wasn’t long that you suddenly drift away from me and started your own “Anti-Me Campaign”; it was really heartening to see how hard you tried to expand your “jihadi” group which started from two and ended up with only one; you.


I want to clear my doubts with you in this post. I like the way you every time try to flaunt how cool you are against me. It makes me believe that “I’m also cool”. Blasting a bomb in college campus is not a heroic act rather I call it "kiddish." I had stopped doing this since I was in 8th standard, now it is boring. You call yourself a “beer frenetic” but you always avoid visiting a bar, even the one with the cheapest rates. You promised to throw a big lavish birthday party for your “friends” but were absent for straight 7 days from the date of your birthday (excluding Sunday). On the 8th day you gave your birthday treat as a “free” Corneto to everyone, of course except me.

Mom in Friends List. Eh!

Is that a Boy with her?

Why shouldn't you be friend with your parents on Social Networking? —


I take a great honor to write this post for the sake of “us” (I wrote us in “ ” because it somehow correlates “us”). This isn't a stereotype. Making parents friends on Social Network (not the film silly) is something which majority of teens (and some above the teens) do not prefer. After all you would not like your profile to be a subject of daily prying by your parents. They will everyday go by your profile to figure out the changed behavior of their darlings. Perhaps social network (let’s call it”Facebook”) empowers the parents to deeply examine “what’s on their mind?” (here their = Son's/Daughter's) This may sound strange but a “Status Update” is enough to turn their suspect into a firm belief.


Parents are always curious to know the insight of their modern 21st century child; perhaps that is why they ask "us" to open up in front of them; but who know “our open up may shut them down”. A finite distance is something which is ought to be maintained.


On what basis am I shouting? —