Screw the Skills

For years we have witnessed many milk additives. Bournvita, Complaint, Milo, Maltova, Horlicks, blah, blah and blah. We know, they make kids Taller, Stronger, Sharper and all the possible “er”. Along with great taste does such milk additives also stimulates the grasping power of brain, as promised? No, they don’t. I have tasted all and Maltova was the best though my mother asked me to settle for Bournvita.

I asked myself a question – Does my class topper use such a supplement to hold his position in class? Perhaps yes. That is the reason why I started having it. Expectations always hurt – I learned it the hard way. Even after Bournvita I didn’t top. This was preposterous. I condemned the apparent result. Then I tried Horlicks. It should have worked according to the ad. The “sharper” thingy wasn’t true. They exaggerate the sharpness by various degrees. I don’t see how it can calibrates one’s mental capabilities when now I mull on it. That is when I learned some facts— I still forget where my cap is after wearing it. I still search for my specs even when I’m wearing them. Perhaps, I should file a legal complaint against additive makers and drag them to the Consumer Welfare court, no? Also I have nothing much interesting to do these days.

| Additive fact – Rooh Afza in icy milk tastes far much better than the others. Period.

Not only in milk; ads trend to set themselves as a perfect deceptive tool. A baby cries even after wearing Huggies. Where is the promise? Got leaked!?! Agreed they come in pants type easy to adjust around the baby but the babies still cry when they pee in it. Should the visibly contemptuous mother; vague about when Chunnu is going to fall asleep ask for her money back?

| Baby fact – They are cute but beware, you don't know who is Stewie Griffin and Shin Chan Nohara

Livon is also known for its deceptive tactics. I sticky eww’able semi-fluid runs down from the Whiskey shaped bottle. It promises to give a silky smooth straight hair, what about those who are born with curly hairs and cannot do anything for it?

 5 Star with it’s over hyped ad robbed me several times.

| Short story – The day I saw this ad I immediately went to get some of them for myself. I ate two and a half chocolate and still was able to recall everything; I was nauseating soon. Again I got something to file a legal case upon which caused me maal haani.

Fair and Lovely and its likes are few out of many freaking racist around. If anyone can, then please explain me the logic behind the mechanism involved in making skin tone farer within 7 days? The only methodologies I can strike for making skin farer is—paint your face with desired colour or rub it hard against the road. Caution – If you’re thinking of overly applying colour White, then for your information it’s hard to tan it later.

Kellogg’s Special K – Please excuse me, by any change any of you are subjecting yourself to this program in which you just have to eat 2 bowls, 2 times a day, for 2 week? This question is NOT sexist. Come one, don’t be shy. It’s perfectly okay if the lady draped in red saare had wooed you. It happens. Sympathies.

Tele Shopping ads; are you expecting a self explanatory explanation to it? Blame Slim Sauna Belt.

| Excerpt from a SMS which I had been receiving on daily basis –From 1800-987-6784*Slim Sauna Belt* Loose 10 KG in 7 days. Buy Slim Sauna Belt at a special price of ` 2200 only. Hurry offer limited for a special period.

Either the marketing agency has built a Time Travelling Machine in which they saw I’m going to become a big belly or they are trying to be a purveyor of blatancy.

No matter how much one tries be will always flunk to explain the difference between a Deodorant and a Vest & Brief ad. Instead of viewers, it aroused government. Now *that* type of ads are banned.  

And finally Airtel; which recently launched a customer luring ad, Har k friend zaruri hota hai, needs to know, zarurat kay time par network bhi zaruri hota hai.