Metro-ian Dissection

Have you heard about Metro, Delhi Metro? Metro is one such project that brought grandeur to the name “Delhi Metro Rail Corporation”. Now when it’s a huge success unlike Ready, it brought people closer than they actually are. Now I can land anywhere uninvited, thanks to Metro. Ease had to be compromise; enough facility doesn't sound India, right? A short run is tolerable and can be easily disremembered. Unfortunately I always get rope in an alone voyage which starts giving me melancholics’ soon as I realize the above stated fact.

Are you in this picture? Yes. Congrats, you're famous now.

Invariably irking announcement on metro stations takes my toes off the ground (Even higher than Red Bulls). The blatant announcement turns into a melodious silence when loud speakers goes malfunction. Stentorian musical tones from headphones—some highly intellectual beings have successfully de-bunked new alternatives to make their co-passengers listen Sheela Ki Jawani. Blaring isn't from no-guarantee Chinese cell phone’s extra large speaker, this time it is, maximum volume flaring out from their 3.5mm jack earphones. Suave office goers are the most admired among all. They are calm and fully humanized with a sense of idiosyncrasy. Imbeciles—naam he kaafi hai. Talkative aunties are often discovered amidst congregation of too much talkative aunties. They spare their husband and whirl someone else’s pati parameshwar. Even their Facebook profile lists it as an interest and hobby. Ranting, raving a man without his attention is not an act of bravery, but they are talkative aunties after all, aren’t they?

Dudes with uncanny hairdo can be often seen. I won’t gossip about their peculiar hair dressing sense as I myself practice this weird art of visual betrayal. No comments. Girls in uncommon clad—to me, it has started appearing that they dress in uncommon apparel; because of the growing competition between the fairer sex. Who looks better? Who will be out-standing? Winner will be rewarded with ogle, lots and lots of ogle. Boys in loose jeans or diabolic apparel-maker's scientifically termed it as low waist jeans. Everyone is okay with the chosen self destruction fashion but somehow a jolt makes it uncomfortable to bear the line below the waistline. Both the hands busy with holding pants close above to a-base line.

Low waist Jeans "Scientific Term"  with song volume little above maximum. 

GoPAiH—Group of people always in hurry. They spread their arm and stretch it to reach the gate. They reach to the gate and stand tall facing it like their business partner. *Metro has just left the station.* Their destination station is yet 4 stations away. I believe what they conceive is; their destination station might somehow acquire the power to cut through space-time boundaries and will teleport right adjacent to them. (Just a thought, not really). There are people who stand/sit up close to their neighboring passenger. I don't wish to discuss their strategic approach here, it's apparent. There is always someone with Odour Ordeal. The one who…..let us say, the one who stink like no-one else does. What exasperates me to the very extent are the spitting marks on the signboard Please Do Not Spit in Train and Station Premises – these people are archery experts and every station is their playground. They also possess the ability of not being caught. Then there are frenetic—they are busy with strolling around the coaches and act like getting intensely intricate in the beauty of Delhi’s traffic. Those who lie are widely distributed among the above discussed various categories. Lying can be done by anyone; claiming to have reached the destination station when metro still has to cover the ground of 4-5 stations before theirs. They secretly wish if metro could just increase its speed by a little 100 m/s. Some discuss on phone so loud that all coaches can hear, “maal factory main rakhwa diyo aur paise chandu se le liyo.” 

A factory owner

Let me also introduce you to those who do nothing, nothing at all. Now how will I disassociate them? They’re tough. Aaagrrh!! Leave them. Those who sit on the floor—now when males are prohibited to enter ladies compartment, in any case; people who are down and dying with such a fatigue that fray their deep posterior muscles so much that every passing station makes their legs frail, the eventual result would be—sitting down on the floor. Simple na? Those who यौन err... I mean "yawn". They make me gloomy, matter of fact, everyone. You are ought to feel lethargic in their aura which gives sleepless dreams. And after gulping some such toxic observations one thing which agitates the most is—still one station has left to be covered.