Eat, Play and Sleep

I'll kill you, and so will I

Out of every damn thing created by God MAN is the only specie which has been bestowed with this peculiar trait called “Eating”, “Eating” and once again “Eating”. Of course women are also unique but their peculiarities are way much bizarre than men. Eh? I am being sexist. No, it's a sheer fact.

Alright! Coming back to the men. Eating has always been our favorite hobby or even a pass time. Men eat because they are born to eat, it's their birth right. So what is the problem if they're practicing it?
So here I am to answer a few questions (call it FAQs) which often create an ape image of the men—

Q: Why do Men eat weirdly?
A: Simply because they have much more hunger as compared to their counterparts.

Q: Why are men less emotional in comparison to their counterparts?
A: Men are emotional, it is just that men’s tear glands have yet not evolved like that of women’s. Therefore they are incapable of producing drum-full of tears.

Q: If a man has to choose between his Girlfriend and Mc.Aaloo Tikki costing Rs.15, can we rely that he'll be choosing his girlfriend?
A: Are you nuts? Hell NO! Don't you see we live to eat rather than eating to live.Rs.15 Mc. Aaloo Tikki any day!!!. Mc.Aaloo Tikki costs above Rs.20 exclusive of 12.5% VAT. We cannot leave any eatable item which is provided below MRP.

Do We Really Have a Future? I Doubt

This post is published as an entry for the KING AND QUEEN OF 55F CONTEST – The first ever unique, challenge for the coveted title in micro fiction category. To catch the crowning moments and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai

Earth on development

On the cost of resources, developments were made. There was a time when robotics matched human’s mind. Humans’ paradox to notch luxury was constantly permuting the advancement and soon was a time when the robots were able to surpass their creators in every possible field. They had now started thinking independently for themselves.

___ 

They were everywhere

They were now in a state to claim their superiority over their creators. Unknown of the outcomes man tend to bend his living and lifestyle degree by degree. One day Machines rebuked and started their rebellion.

___

A mother in 3011 era tells her son the past of the Earth—

Humans were being exterminated by the machines. We were left with no choice than to leave the planet Earth. And that was the time when we decide to elope and settle on a plant light years from the Earth, 'Xnor'. And this was how it ended.

P.S This is a mere science fiction inspired from my brother's venture.

How Dare You!?! You Racist

This incident dictated is written deliberately and is meant to hurt the mindsets of people who think they have evolved with the world, evolved!?! Really?

"
It was late afternoon at one fine boring day at college. The class was appearing much like a center of boredom, people were busy in killing the boredom, some were busy in dreaming, some were staring at the chalk box with open mouth, some preferred to slip into a noon nap, the rest left were busy in playing Poker. Poker is one game for which half of my class goes sane from insane. Given a chance they could probably bid their own house. Their Walls on Facebook is a living evident that how badly they have been smitten by this P game; lucky me, I am miles away from such pseudo madness. The game was going intense; I would have never known the intensity of the game if Anubhav haven’t murmured it in his mouth.

The long reign of Abhishek as the King of Poker was coming to a halt. Utkarsh was taking a lead and from the facial expression Abhishek didn’t like it. He lost, yes the champion was beaten and a new hero of Poker was born in the class, of course not literally born. Abhishek couldn’t digest the fact so he called another game to claim his title once again with a lewd remark at Utkarsh. Lewd remark!?! Yes, the remark was indeed lewd and it chuckle the great Poker players. The comment passed wasn’t ordinary, it was meant to hurt and was directed to penetrate deep inside Utkarsh’s heart, so it did. The comment was Racist. Utkarsh’s colour was the thing which Abhishek loathed.

Did HE Make It Happen?

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Circa 2005—

It was late winters when a mere 15 year old boy was seriously clinched within the arms of a newly spreading viral disease. Unknown of this disease, it was mistook for a viral and the treatment was also done accordingly. 10 days later when fever seems to be unevenly trending and decreasing his parents in worry. A sudden outburst of nausea made his parents mind to take him to the nearest hospital. The boy kept asking what is going on with him but all his questioned were suppressed with a smile by his mother and were unanswered.

From my hazy memories I can tell it was the day of Diwali or a day before Diwali. Only some wardens and junior doctors were found. They weren't able to decipher, the actual cause of this uncanny behavior shown by the fever over past 10 days. After much of the examination they asked his parents to take the boy to home and come after 2-3 days but his mother wasn't ready to accept the idea and asked to admit him. After much of a conversation a Doctor showed up and started examining the boy. The boy went unconscious and doctor called it a case of emergency. Several blood tests later it was discovered that he wasn’t clinched by any ordinary flu it was Dengue. His parents were unable to gulp the fact that their piece of heart is resting with the most newly and deadly disease of the present time.

A sudden shock wave came when his platelets started dipping. The boy was struggling within his own solitude. He got an internal liver bleeding and was losing everything now. A healthy human being has 1, 50,000 to 4, 00,000 platelets count in his blood but the boy's platelets count dipped to 16000. Doctors called it off. His parents were told to take the boy with them, everything is going in vein. There wasn’t any use of giving him more platelets, already 6 packets were syringed into his body, also the machine use to segregate platelets from blood wasn’t nearby, his father has to travel 30 kilometers in chilly winter’s nights to get there. 

Shh!! Let Me Nitpick While I Boast

It was his birthday, 11th August, 2008 when he came to the store and looked for me (actually for everyone). I was there right behind him while he was busy in checking out others. He never knew about me until he was told. He saw me, he smiled and enquired about me, “Oh my gosh! He knows everything about me." He was impressed and therefore decided to take me with him. Ah, sheer bliss, new place, a new life begins for me. It was difficult to corporate with him for a while but somehow it happened. Let me first introduce you to myself. I am W705. Today’s mobile phone. You must be wondering, why is this non living metal box here and how in the world did he got the password to access this blog? Answer to the question like these would be – I stole it. Why am I here? My answer – To write a blog post. Since HE is busy with his own issues and the blog's last update was appearing to be centuries ago, literally; therefore I, yes I, W705 took the pain and accumulated my thoughts under the post title Shh!! Let Me Nitpick While I Boast. 

And here is how it goes—

We had relished so many texts together until now. Most of the texts received were were dumb and sent were dumbest, dumbest enough to baffle anyone and screw the minds of the people searching the sense in his text. At times he make me go mad, I thereby automatically switch off to show my anger, I still remember when he irked me to the height of insanity. It happened when he sent a text to one of his contact —

Him – Come down I am here................
"Contact rushes out of his house to greet his long known friend when he receives another text. (Expected!)"
Him - Come down I am here in front of my college, will reach in an hour at your place within an hour or so. Hahaha!!!

DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love Again

Yes, this Usher ft. Pitbull charts topping track is my topic to nail and no I haven’t purchased the copyrights to use this song (I am so brave hearted). Actually you’ll find the aroma of love under this post and Usher enhances the quality of my post.

Remember (not The Titans) Ishita? Yes, the one who gave me a life changing lesson. After analyzing what she did was wrong, she tried to make up with me. A flood of sorry SMS’es ruined my cute teddy wallpaper. I had to talk to her to stop this I-cannot-see-my-wallpaper torture. I messaged her to meet me at 7 in the evening outside the society. It was 7:40 pm and I was returning from a get together when I saw someone in my way. Green top and black jeans were heading towards me. Curiosity clinched me and I moved faster and so was the green top and black jeans. Milliseconds before the person encased within it could come into my visibility area, a name echoed in my empty head Ishita. Yes, indeed the green top and black jeans were Ishita. Girl was looking amazing like she always look but this time she was quite different, maybe the aura of night made her more pretty (yeah yeah, envy me). I totally forgot about her, damn my remembering skills. Expecting a shout pretty much fabricated with loud abuses, I prepared myself for the consequences.


Me – Hey there. How are you? Sorry to keep you waiting like this, I got caught up with some work.
Ishita – Not a problem, it’s fine. So are you free now?
Me (won’t she kill me?) – Yeah! So what’s the deal?


An apology with a puppy face came right into my face which indeed melt my heart. I retained my crush. I accepted her cutest sorry and we now were moving to our respective homes. In the middle of our ongoing conversation, she asked me “hey Mani would you like to go to Disc with her, RPM, Vasant Vihar?” Shocked me was standing in the middle of the road. She asked me for disc. Wow. What should I say? Should I go? Yes of course I should go. She tried to decipher my silence and replied in a low tone “Yes, I can understand. You’re a mumma’s boy. I’ll go by my own.” I laughed and said quickly "yes I would love to go (among several, another mistake which I still am repenting over)."

College isn't College Without Them

I dedicate this post to two people who supported me when I was in the middle of nowhere. Names are kept discreet and so are their faces.

It was my first day of college when They came up to me and asked firmly First year? I with a gently tone replied (which I shouldn't have) Yes. With a smile on their face They appreciated my modesty and said Chal ragging de, we're from second year. Considering that people might read my blog I won't mention what They made me do. PS: It still hurts. From the very first day I restrain myself, kept a very low profile when They were around, instead of taking the short way to canteen I use to travel the entire periphery of college, why? Because They were in my way to canteen. Screw Them, were the words which usually slips out of my tongue. Good morning Sir, good morning ma’am was the alloted greetings which I was asked to give them whenever They finds me. A semester passed away and still I had to show them my modesty. It was a perpetual question which I use to ask myself. My thoughts of uneven questions came to a halt soon during the End Terms examination for 2nd semester when sir and ma’am helped me with my bleak academics. My mind was perplexed after the latest helpful deed by Them. They not only provide me the notes but also cleared my concepts about the subject and marking scheme adapted by the university and freaking college. They’re good no They’re great as person. This was the first time I prejudiced someone and literally got wrong. Soon we started gelling up. We got perfectly blend into each other (I can see water in your mouth. I am not talking about samosa or bred pakoda).


My class is one heck of a place enriched with swine’s with a typical low mentality. Throwing a personal comment on me is their most enjoyable pass time. This vexes me, but someone (my Twitter Mom) once said to me “there is a limit to the number of dogs you can quiet... Let barking dogs bark at random....” Considering it as an apt philosophy for my college life I made a change into my attitude towards them, I call it—Ignorance a Bliss. Nice na!?!

Episode 2: Reunions After the Last Day

This post is a part of Episode 1: Glimpse from the Past. Specially written for four of my best friends who are often available here to comment (call it never). Again this post is the reflection of Bond that we share. 

Anecdote—

I was waiting for my bus to arrive at my bus stop. "Oh! Bhaiya bus aa gaye" Mohit claimed at sharp 7:25 A.M. Within no time the bus crossed Preet Vihar and there I was. I could hear the hustle and bustle coming out from the School Building as soon as the Bus # 1 entered the Main Gate. It was a normal day just like a normal Thursday until I realized Thursday February 7 is going to be the my Last Day at L.P.S. Though the realization was late and I still repent over it.

The joy of leaving the school for a new beginning of new Life filled me up. New College, new people, new place, It was all so exciting which over-shadowed the fact that one day I'll miss this place which I once cursed. The day kicked up with straight three period bunks perhaps the best bunk with them. We unwillingly attended physics lecture since we were all tired. “I need to feed my tummy”, said Akshit. And like a good friend I snatched his lunch box and ate all his bread jam. My body shivers down the spine when I try to recall what that jerk did to me after he clinched me, if you’re curious to know what his actions were, well trust me you don’t want to see you’re being fitted perfectly between the two benches, do you? After learning about his animal-like strength I always irritates him, his inhuman acts gives a perfect back massage.

We for Vodka

This is an On Demand post. Meant to reflect the bonds of friendship.

I reached home at about 8 P.M. All tired. Struggling not to let unconsciousness to take over my mind but steadily I was slipping into this endless peaceful world.


Mom - So late!?! Seems my child has been working a lot at college.
Me - Hmm...
Mom - So when did you left for home?
Me (weak tone) - Mum I'm tired, I am going to bed.
Mom - Haan?? You haven't taken anything into your stomach. How could you think that I'll possibly let you go to sleep?
Me (ignorance) - I'm dozing off. Wake me at 7 in morning.


What actually happened that morning—


From what I could hazily sum up– I was heading towards my college when I got a call from Gaurav (my best pal, I thought so), asking me to disembark from the Metro as soon as possible.

A Fun Day Out

Though I was about to write and post it the very next next moment I stepped into my room but curse my lethargic and lame body which didn't allowed me turn ON my PC and start typing on MS Word. So I delayed this post. Now, when I am here, let us begin -


"

It was the of an upcoming wedding which brought us all together after such a long time.

1 PM, Mom announced a visit to mall for shopping. As directed to us (Me, my brother and my Dad), we dressed up as fast as we could and all headed towards the Mall. I always had a strong feeling that going to a Mall with parents isn’t a good idea. This ideal shopping idea turned into a reality when my Mom say so many Couples altogether at the same time. Instead of ignoring she was constantly staring them. Soon she diverted her attention towards me and questioned—
Do you have a Girlfriend? Baffled me. With a flustered state of mind and slippery tongue I answered N….n..n…..noo! Expecting a straight and firm reply from her sweetheart, instead she got a weak answer which confirmed her suspect into a half reality. Every single time she crosses a couple her raised eyebrow scares me. What would be her next question was haunting me all the time.